I'm sorry

After had " war " in my family, I started to thinking what will be with my family like after a few years?
The word " betray " had been " born " or been " created " then changed the definition of " Family ", I do think he don't have the qualification to judge my attitude that I done on my sister, Fong just now...

Her attitude started to change since last year? Since I found she make friend that quite close with her friend which I think her friend's personality is kinda bitchy...
But I can't stop her liberty to make friends...
But since that she know to say " Dirty words ", there is not gonna to happen on my principle.
So do my attitude, changed. Be not to strict to my sisters...

But today, Fong just get on my nerves, make me get into MAD!!

Her attitude -
She fight back when mum scholding her false, her attitude shown to younger sisters, and she just pull youngest brother out from her room but when my brother just sit in front of her room door, she stubborn to close the door...

I can't just sit there and see what she doing with little brother, come on 15 years old and 2 years old...
So I walk foward and try to stop her, but she insist want to close the door, and I pushed the door, She screamed... Screamed like hell like a witch and say " I have to do my homework! "
I can't endure and raise up my hand and hit her...
The " war " begun ~

End up my hand was twisted and so pain like my bone is broken because the painful that I made on her...
I cried...
I cried not because the pain, is the pain in my heart...
I just think that maybe I got the wrong way to behave their discipline...
But I do happy that she know to protect herself when she tires to fight back...

I'm kinda hurt of something happen around me when it turns bad...
Bad until I said out from my mouth " I hate this family... "
But I do care about my sisters and brother, I think I'm the eldest and I should responsible on them... Their innocent, they should not be on this way on this ages...

I'm sorry... for everything...