Speechless

Since when I don't confess my stressness or what I angry for and forth...
So I just don't know why I'm not able to talk and confess to somebody when I was bad mood...
I even don't want to talk anything...
This wasn't me like who I am on last year who really always want to confess not even one person...
I've changed along with every single day growth

Maybe I felt numb...
I did not cry for so long...
Is my feeling numb or I am tough enough?

I know that person was here, I don't have the suffering feeling on it anymore,
but I still not that dare to walk or even pass by at where that person is...
But still, I'm glad for it so far...

There is so so so many incidents happened to push me in hard condition...
Last time I just about suffering for almost 6 months, an half a year!!
Still, the friendship and family was in trouble at the same time~

Happening on this year which I sitting for my SPM!!
That's why I really really wanted to cry that I do not do well in my paper especially science subjects that could judge me and decides me to apply for A level! which I craving for it so bad!
This is the only way to achieve my dream...
Maybe this is what could effort me to make me tough...

But anyhow if the SPM certificate was a disaster...
It could really screw up my whole life and spoil my dream and then my whole life will become disaster!!!

Why me?