loser

Just hard to write on my blog about this...
I really upset and sad about this...

I went to Mega Mall on yesterday,
I saw that person... just called "D"

I'm not sure whether all those memory came back or I still not completely let it go...
But all I know is...
My heart was so pain when I saw D...
I was just cut my hair and ready to have a great night shopping with Tony Lam and Tony Hii... But D make me cannot concentrate to do everything...

Until today...
I thought I was " escape " from that suffer,
but why still am I to feel that way? It's hurting me...
I was thinking the time...
I think the time when I'm crying, when I'm sad, when I'm no appetite, awake from hurt, sleep with hurt...
All those shit thing I really don't want to let them happen again in my life!
I'm spending almost half year to recover that sad feeling...
I am so Tired!

I ask myself non-stop, why I punishing myself under D's fault?
WHY WHY WHY?????



I also wondering that is God punishing me now?
I really don't want to see D again,
I really don't want to have this fated again...
I don't want to back to that suffered life...
I don't want to be a loser!
Please let me free...